I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
