We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
