I seem to have left my pride at pride
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
smell my finger.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
