kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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