his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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