Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
