ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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