I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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