I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
