yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
