it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
