So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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