I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
