butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
