Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I'm really busy with my period
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