I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
