She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
