Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
