dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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