How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize