Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
