Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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