wat bout pragnant strippers??
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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