he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
When did angry sex become our thing?
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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