sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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