i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Randomize