ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
We had sex on a dog bed..
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize