The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Randomize
