this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
It's official drugs can't kill me
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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