do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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