She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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