Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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