Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
