I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
