Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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