Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
