he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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