operation harelip BJ is a go
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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