I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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