Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
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