Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
how does that bad decision feel?
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
