you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
