No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
