This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
