ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
