Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Randomize
