fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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