Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize