quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
People in love make me want to vomit
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
