Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
