this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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