i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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