I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
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