so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Randomize
