My friends, they love my intelligence
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
