Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Dick very happy bro
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
