I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
