The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize