I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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