Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
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