I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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